The Official Off Ice History of the Pittsburgh Penguins’ Unofficial Mascot
It all started way back in the middle of April 2016. The Pittsburgh Penguins were about to get underway playing the New York Rangers and someone may have made a comment as to owning a penguin costume and someone else may have said they would wear it if the Penguins won the first round.
Clarification was sought to ensure that said person meant when the Penguins won the first round and not the entire Stanley Cup. First Round victory was the confirmed milestone. The owner of the penguin costume was pleased.
The Penguins swiftly took care of the Rangers, after one minor hiccup called Game 2. By late April the Penguins had claimed their first round victory and were about to square off against the Capitals. The person who had said they would be the penguin tried to back out but 5 witnesses held him accountable and finally after much incubation OfficeBurgh was hatched on Game 3 gameday May 4.
OfficeBurgh started off a touch grumpy, but it was only due to being out of his preferred comfortable environment of excel spreadsheets and tight deadlines.
But soon the little bird took flight by waddling happily amongst his co-workers – and very ready to get the 9-to-5 crowd pumped and cheering the Pens on to victory.
That night, due to the valiant off ice efforts of OfficeBurgh, the Penguins claimed a victory in overtime to lead the series 2-1.
Sadly OfficeBurgh rested during Game 4 since it was a Saturday and the Penguins were squashed in a 3-1 defeat by the Capitals tying the series 2-2. OfficeBurgh learned his lesson. There is no rest for such an important bird!
OfficeBurgh was always at the ready to be called up to action at a moment’s notice and fortunately he was prepared because after the 4th back-to-back-to-back-to-back penalty taken by the Penguins OfficeBurgh got to work. After much breath holding, jumping, shouting, and stress OfficeBurgh found the Pens a victory over the Capitals in overtime and won the series. Post-game analysis showed that it was OfficeBurgh who provided that last spark of energy in OT.
On to the Lightning round, also known as the Eastern Conference Finals, where OfficeBurgh continued working hard to cover the 9-to-5 off ice crowd so that his cousin IceBurgh could focus on the on ice crowd.
Because OfficeBurgh telecommutes on Fridays and works out of a different office on Mondays OfficeBurgh let IceBurgh cover all aspects of crowd management and Penguin support for the first two games. His plus-minus was 50-50. Unfortunately OfficeBurgh was out of town on a business trip until Game 7. His return was crucial!
Due to the dire circumstances known as being down 3-2 in a best of 7 series OfficeBurgh had to get back to the office! OfficeBurgh walked around outside working to pump up additional off ice people and the mobile geotargeting campaign proved successful, particularly among males age 0-3.
Thanks to OfficeBurgh’s rousing efforts the Pens were all set to tie the series 3-3 and that night they did it handily by thundering over the Lightning 5-2.
It was at that moment that OfficeBurgh and his attire was officially declared a lucky penguin suit.
On to Game 7! OfficeBurgh really hit his waddly stride at this time. He was no longer content to reach the office crowd or those in proximity to his office. He needed to reach the world! And so, when the Post-Gazette Sports Team went to film their “Throwback Thursday” segment OfficeBurgh stood at the ready.
Some may call it ‘video bombing’ but avid bird watchers just call it birding. OfficeBurgh calls it “doing what is needed to guarantee a victory”. Much like the Penguins, this penguin worked hard.
And waddled some more.
All in an effort to ensure that next victory.
To watch the Unofficial Mascot Sighting check out 2:25, 3:35, 4:05, 4:20, 4:33, 4:54, 5:16, 5:43 Essentially, this day all of OfficeBurgh’s professional dreams came true.
Then OfficeBurgh refueled by wandering out into the streets of the North Shore to a restaurant where “2 people and 1 bird” were given a table. After filling up on what one can only assume was some sort of fish meal, OfficeBurgh returned to his off ice home and got back to work.
All of the hard working and waddling lifted the Pens over the Lightning and out of the series.
The Stanley Cup Finals. Pause for proper appreciation of the magnitude of this moment. Deep breath. Feel that? It’s the joy of knowing the cup is but a few games away from being held in the hands of Crosby, Malkin, Bonino-Bonino-Bonino-Bonino!, Kessel, Letang and all the great ‘guins of 2016.
May 30, a day to memorialize the first meeting of two teams – one a predator, one prey – who both have logos that are an animal with a hockeystick on top of a triangle. This day wasn’t a working day for OfficeBurgh but fortunately that mattered not as the Penguins eeked out Game 1.
With the arrival of June OfficeBurgh was back and ready for action. He went to meetings. He took notes. He walked past his bosses while reading a newspaper and someone may have said, “What the H-E-Double-Hockeysticks?!” (okay, so that is the edited version which had to be done for obvious sporty reasons).
It is at this point that no one should be surprised that OfficeBurgh launched the Penguins to victory yet again.
But every great hero has an off day every once in awhile and OfficeBurgh wasn’t thinking clearly when he decided he needed to appear in the office on a non-gameday. Big mistake. While the intentions were good, and evidence suggests it was otherwise successful, OfficeBurgh messed with the balance of the Hockey universe (the biggest taboo that there is!) and cursed the Penguins to a defeat that day.
OfficeBurgh is very sorry and takes complete blame for the fact the Sharks bit right thru the Penguins and upset that balance to make the series 2-1. As the Penguins have been known to blow 2-0 leads this was not a good sign. But the Penguins were up to the task in Game 4 and skated away with a victory to lead the series 3-1.
This leads us to Game 5 gameday. A day when the Penguins have the chance to win the Stanley Cup. And not just win it, win it in their hometown. OfficeBurgh is up to the task.
Are you ready to see how OfficeBurgh lifts the Penguins to a victory so that the Penguins can lift the Stanley Cup in victory?
OfficeBurgh also took some time today to interact with the chat community and reach fans in text as well as visually. OfficeBurgh felt right at home behind the screen.
We are ready to bring the Cup to the City of Champions.
And look! The next generation of OfficeBurgh has hatched! Thus ensures OfficeBurgh’s legacy continues.
LET’S GO PENS!
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